The root is always resolve, but that isn't all you need.
5 Steps to building, and keeping new habits.
Pick 1 thing to change.
not 2, or 3. Just 1.
Serously, just 1.
"Research has shown that when people try to change a single behavior at a time, the likelihood that they’ll retain that habit for a year or more is better than 80 percent. When they try to tackle two behaviors at once, their chances of success are less than 35 percent. When they try for three behaviors or more, their success rate plummets to less than 5 percent." -John Berardi
So what does that actually mean?
Start small and focused. Narrow it down. Chew your first bite. Working with an expert coach who knows your track record and can help steer you to an ideal goal based on your needs is a smart way to start.
Get crystal clear & avoid ambiguity
When we are vague, we allow ourselves to have wiggle room. We are all ambivalent at our core (meaning that we want it, but we also don't at the same time... because change is hard)
Ok, so...really though...
Decide and outline with great detail what you want. Spare no detail. Leave no cracks to slip through.
Choose a process oriented goal, not a result.
DO NOT choose a result as your goal.
ex. Result-Oriented Goal: Drink 100 ounces of water a day.
Process-Oriented Goal: "I will carry a bottle of water around with me. Every time I get up from my desk, refill bottle no matter how much I have drank since last fill-up. If no water has been drank since last refill, drink some at the "bubbler" and top off." You will drink more water... which helps you get toward the 100 oz.
List three potential process oriented goals that speak to you. Share them with someone.
Cultivate a growth mindset
Make sure you stay focused on the fact that this is not a pass or fail test. You are on a journey of self exploration. If you did not do well, take an honest look at why and see how you can try a new strategy.
A fixed mindset, which is too specific about the result, generally leads toward individuals giving up because they either "passed or failed".
Also, when we talk about self-exploration, beating yourself up about it is not productive, but neither is saying "oh well, try again next time." Take a minute to look at the "why" it did not produce results, and try a new strategy.
and that looks like:
If you screw up, try and examine why, and then let it go, dust yourself off and try again...this time with a bit more experience and one more tool in hand.
Don't go it alone.
Get a qualified coach that understands about motivation and habit change science. "Rah-Rah", high-five surface-only motivation does not work for very long. It is the weakest form of motivation.
We all need someone to help us along the way to stay focused because everyone has competing priorities in life. Here is a little secret. Even the best coaches have their own coaches!
The reality is:
Community matters. We thrive in tribes.